I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everthing as long as its free

Just like that, just like that. So come monday and my head is pounding like a drum and the next morning i wake up and cannot breathe as my tonsils are so big the gap between them was probably as wide as a straw. yes.. I wont go into detail.
And blah blah, bad tonsilitis, blah blah BLOOD TEST.
I was given 3 hours to ready myself. in the 3 hours leading up, i was cool. I was cool, way cool, way chill. i was cool buying emla, which is aenasthetic patches. So I'm good. feeling dandy. Get in car, still fine. Scenic drive to the doctors, I'm doing great. Walk into the doctors, feeling awesome. See pathology room. And this is where my mind developes a fourth dimension where i can only observe my behaviour.. drat.
Ok this fear is utterly debihilatating. I don't give a fuck if no-one believes me, but I actually have a serious aversion to needles. I actually have no given control whatsover, and whats more, its truly not the pain, so before you so many, many fools tell me to harden the feckle up and deal with the pain ITS NOT THE PAIN. i know pain, i can do pain... i had a kidney stone. that, truly, is pain. So no, it is not the pain. And this is so ridiculous becuase i actually have so little inclination or control over something that i would ordinarily scoff at. I cannot describe how I feel when I have needles. I cannot. But I can try? I truly have a hazy recollection of my thoughts so i can only commentate..
Georgia sees pathology room. Starts to uncontrollably hyperventilate. This is not nice. This is like trying to breathe underwater. All communcation is lost, cannot talk to mum/ friendly doctors/insane man in waiting room.
Havving afternoon tea, will retaurn in due course.

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