You always hear those horror stories of family holidays. Holidays where people lose luggage, drive on the incorrect sides of roads, get food poisoning, stuff up their kidneys, miss their flights, get lost in expansive international airports. This only happens to us half the time.
Because whilist my family has faults far and further between, WE ARE ACTUALLY EXCELLENT TRAVELLERS. Things rarely go wrong for us, we actually suceed at international travel. i say this now, trying to forgot the kidney stone, dengy fever and burst ovary, but on a whole, its pretty high flying and fine and dandy situations for us.
We have managed to plan an international holiday in the 2 most heavily security checked periods in the history of international travel. If you listen to the news, the crazy looking asian reporter wearing the cool silver spacesuit and the spikey hair on SBS will tell you that security measures at airports have 3 levels, ranging from low, medium, tighter then medium, average, better then average, high, very high, ULTIMATE SECURTIY CHECKS.
"ultimate security checks' is a world wide level of maximum security. To date, this has only happened twice in the world. First was in the year following the September 11 attacks. The second is now, following the attempted attack on american airspace. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? DO YOU?!
1. no one in the plane is allowed to leave their allotted cabins. this means my plans to swap halfway with mum are foiled. foiled!
2. you are not allowed to leave you seat one hour before landing, or when breaching US airspace.
3. you are not allowed to spend more then 20mins the toilet.
4. they are turning off the little flight thing where you can follow the mini plane and see where youre going. damn, i love that thing.
5. our hands must be visible at landing (?!)
6. we have to go through THREE HOURS of customs and securtity, including frisk checks... please let that not be true.
it is 11.48 and i am finally finished. we may be good at travelling but we are crap at.. leaving.
becuase not 2 hours ago, mum realised that the dog was staying with... no-one.
this called for emergency services like snowys man friends... who love snowy, and thankfully will have a small white dog wearing a bucket appear on their doorstep at 9am, whether they like it or not.
OH, WELCOME ELLEN. thankyou for being 5...!
family stood surveying the bags on the balcony. all satisifed. then dad realised.... SKI BOOTS AND SKI GEAR WILL MEAN WE GO OVER THE ALLOTTED BAGGAGE LIMIT. panic. then dad calls mary jane, our friend from the airline. mary jane assures us that mum and dad are allowed to take more. disaster averted. still fears concerning my bag.. which is the largest and most heavy. a pack and repack later an i refuse point blank to take anything out. i insist on having everything. you never know, i may appear on the slopes wearing my blue howqua goretex.
tomorrow we have a stopover in nz for 5 hours. i will be hightailing around the airport in an attempt to find maccas and consequently free wifi.
dear god, please let their not be a fat sweating man seated beside me.